Club Membership

Yes, I am very much Alive , but not so much that I can grab the laptop and start blogging.... Sunny days, summer holidays , kids at home a complete nightmare for mom-at-home....Sometimes feel like hold my head and pull all the hair with both my hands...."Mommy Where is this ? Amma where is that? He is hitting me , he is snatching my things , Can I watch TV ? Can I watch laptop ? I am hungry----> Na , I don't like what you cook.... Something different was better " . And at the end " Not Fair "... Looks like " My Dharma Yudha" has started for 3 whole months . Now I can feel the pain , understand the tension my mom used to have when we would get the holidays and I miss took it to be " Mom doesn't like us to be at home . She hates us " .
So summer equals to outside play... Outside play equals to meet more kids.. Meet more kids equals to forming new ideas ... And among those new ideas is the formation of the "Club". Yea THE CLUB... Club where there is a demand that all will be the President's of the club , so much so that motto behind the formation of the club is almost forgotten , but not the idea of becoming the President... So it so happened that few days back many kids met in the park and they were discussing about the Club...One Club for "Saving Earth" , other for " Helping people"....For Nikhil this was a totally new concept he was unaware of ...So after pleading and board meetings with rest of the Presidents( all held in the park ), they decided that since there were already many Presidents than the members , Nikhil will be given the status of "VIP" ..He has equals powers as that of the President but he has to ask the President when he decides in doing something.
He was happy that he got some position in "God knows which club" and also that his little brother became a "Aaam Member " of the club too.... He came home with few strips with phone numbers , meeting time and place for meeting....
At the end of the day , when I was putting the kids to sleep he was looking disappointed ..Asked him . So he said "He wanted to be President of any Club ". Hmmmm Pop came the idea of the club and he said "Let's make Polar Bear Saving Club "
and his motto will be to save atleast one polar bear....I got the offer of becoming the President , while his brother and dad were voted to be the members of the club....So there it was "Polar Bear Club". This was the talk of last week and believe me that was the first and the last talk we ever had of the club...But at the end he was soo happy he finally got the chance to be the President and had the sound sleep that night...

Language

It's being a long time that I haven't blogged ...Summer keeps all of busy I must say..More of outdoors than indoors.... Haha sometimes I think do we really need a home in summer ?? Cos kids don't listen to come inside once they are out.. Eat , play , Sleep all under the shade... Who needs house anyway ? :)


The most common thing in US among kids is that they forget to speak their 'Mother Tongue'. Reason I am still finding it tough to understand.. May be because I am a full time housewife or we speak only and only in 'Konkani ' at home I don't know. Sometimes I think why such problem not persistent in India. There too English is the medium of teaching and communication including other regional languages. Then why don't we have the same problem in India too ? Of course we do have more relatives ,grandparents where in the the mother tongue is easily retained in India......But the amount of time a kid spends in school in India and in US remains to be the same right ? Then why the heck kids forget their mother tongue...
Nikhil was fluent in Konkani till age of 3. Even now he speaks in Konkani at home , but changes have come to our notice...My mom , my in-law says there is touch of accent in the speech and as far as I noticed few words which he used to say in Konkani is now translated to English and some extreme cases the words he was so familiar in India are totally forgotten... Why is that so?

I know kids learn mother tongue once they are settled down for good in India , but I strictly believe that kids experiment with new languages till age of 5 if enforced by parents. After that there will be resistance from their side to study a new language...For past 6 months or more I have being trying to teach Nikhil understand Hindi and the moment I sit and open the book , he gets allergic to it and runs off or shows tantrums......He does watch hindi movies but only with subtitles , so not much attention is given on speech compared to writing....I tried a lot and finally have given up the effort from my side...
Ronak has now started talking in sentences now that he has turned 3. He does speak mother tongue fluently , little bit of English , little bit of Chinese( thanks to 'Ni-Hao' on Nick Jr) , little bit of Spanish (thanks to Dora and Deigo in Nick Jr)...Now have to wait and watch which of these will finally dominate in his life...Hopefully the mother tongue... :)

Sibling Rivalry

Tit for Tat ,  Blame for every Blame , Kiss for every Kiss , Hug for every Hug , Gift for every Gift ...In short Sibling Rivalry...
            How do kids get all these wonderful qualities when they grow up? The moment they are tagged the "Brother" or "Sister" the rivalry is born.  Born with the new born --> The Rivalry....They will have immense love when the baby is in the womb , but the moment it is out and in your arms , they feel the difference..You need to be held ,cuddled like them.  What more you need to act the same way like you do to them..Nikhil was 4 when Ronak was born..Whenever I would wrap the baby , he wanted  the same thing  to be done to him..Whenever I would give Ronak oil massage, he wanted it . Even he wanted to duplicate the act of putting the diaper . ... Little attention away from the baby , he would have started all his misdeeds....Tiny pinching, punching, sometimes duplicating my acts of wrapping him up.....When asked he would say it is the way he cuddled the baby...... Extra love????

    I would always say  "Only God can save the baby from all this ".  So much so that Nikhil wanted to share the crib with the baby.... Those were the terrifying days... " The survival of the fittest ". Only wished the baby to grow fast ,  to stand on his feet....At least to have the stamina to bear all these tortures from his brother's hand....
           Of course now it is Vice Verse...For every blow there is a re bounce.... . Nikhil comes with the complaints that he is being beaten . May be Ronak has the " Purana Yaadein " . I am least bothered in keeping an eye on them...Know that they can manage on their own...But the rivalry is still there...If I kiss Ronak ,  Nikhil starts counting and then stands in line to give him the exact count...Not one less...Yes , seriously it is true..He comes and tells "Mom ,  you have kissed Ronak that many times ,  now its my turn .". For every cuddling , he needs to be cuddled the same way for the same time...For every tickling , he needs to be tickled exactly at the  same place Ronak's being tickled .... " An eye for an  eye???" .
        But there are cases were the count doesn't count....If we start a game with Nikhil  and try to end it with Ronak it doesn't count...Start from me and end with me.....When Nikhil and Ronak plays , start with the eldest , but when I and he play , start  with the youngest...Rules are Rules.....Flexible rules....Wonder is this the problem only with the elder ones cos there is no such complaints from the younger one so far... Or may be he is still not in that age group.
             Last year we thought of not celebrating Nikhil's birthday cos anyways he had crossed the age 5 and in our community generally the first and the 5th birthday is celebrated  with grand... Of course no doubt we did give him the gifts that he desired ...Next came Ronak's 2nd birthday and we thought any how the poor fellow goes in for second hand on everything ( ie he wears all carry over clothes of Nikhil and toys too ) so why not celebrate ? ... To even this day , after a year too I still get complaints from Nikhil that people came and sat and ate on Ronak's birthday and on his  birthday people came and gave gifts and went...They didn't sit.... So that count is not matched so far and I bet it will go on.....
            Last but  not the least the most common dialogue in the sibling rivalry is " Hey !!!! That's not Fair . "

Educational Difference

Had being a little busy with kids last week + didn't catch any topic worth writing + would get the topic and when I think of writing it down , forget what I had thought...Getting in to short term memory loss  like Amir Khan I guess .... Going for tatooing is the best option ... Haha just kidding...

          Initial days of Nikhil going to school , I did have complaints regarding the education here....They were pretty much lagging or say lagging far behind compared to Indian Syllabus. More of cuttings , art work would end up coming home... I would call them CRAP..... Kids should have control in the hand movements ie  the way they hold the pencil or cut was the answer from the teacher .. No doubt we lived in the super fast teaching era where in one or 2 classes we would have finished from 1 to 100 and then reverse counting in UKG itself ..In  that matter India is superfast.....Hahah Nikhil still doesnt have such a large counting.

               But now I feel the teaching is pretty good over here.. .. They make your base firm which gives good support for your future studies...We studied A to Z blindly without knowing how it sounded and why ? Here they teach with the phonics first for like 3 years which is 2 years of pre -school and  1 year of Kindergarten.....Once the phonics is  learnt , you wont believe reading becomes so easy and learn t in no time....Hahah I remember my days of mugging up the spellings and movement the test is done gone the spellings too....
          Kids are not burdened with homework too..Let the kids act and be kids....Nikhil school bag becomes heavy with snowpants , extra shoes, gloves, water bottle, lunch bag and last but not least file folder with his worksheets...Again worksheets not homework.....And in my days guess we could have being employed as a "Coolie" anywhere...Such was the weight of the bag excluding the tiffin box...
          When Nikhil was 2 and half  I had put him to nursery school in India...God knows what happened there but he would cry a hell lot while going , had a routine of vomiting first in front of the coconut tree which was in front of the school and then cry again...Moment he would see me come to pick him up , he would cry again......I had sent him for 2 and half month there and everyday was same....When he was 3 he joined the preschool in US and I dont remember one day were he refused to go to school...The talk of school itself excites him even today...What is it that kids love to go to school so with so much enthu ? Toys ? but they did have the toys in nursery classes too...Teachers ? may be yes...... "Guru Devobhava " means " Teacher is God " and this God should not be questioned .. We were pretty scared to argue in any matter..If they say it is that way , then it is that way...It becomes the fact........ But here students are open to ask any question to the teacher ..Anything....And everything is welcomed with good smile....Sometimes I feel how do they even bear so much of patience coz I know Nikhil's questions ... One person questioning  is intolerable to me , so 20 times of that is unimaginable... Even with the capacity of 20 kids versus 1 teacher and half a day and 2 or 3 days a week class,  they give us the exact report of the kid during the parent teacher meeting....They even know the name of each kid...Hahah we were only numbers to our teachers back then......"Roll number 26 go outside " . Only popular kids were called by names....
                The only drawback I think here is the language....English being the only medium , kids end up learning only one language which is sad......Of course no complaints , when in Rome live like Romans do......:)
             Contrary I dont know how I will react in future when we settle back in India ... Kids will definitely find it tough...But then what has to happen will happen....Till then let go off the tension.

Stop & Think

Ok , People in US know about the Time-Out for the kids but for the rest who don't know  it is ----> if kids do something naughty or bad , they are supposed to sit in a corner or stand facing the wall and count to some number or stand as long as their parents say like 5 mts.....Don't know the reason ,  but Nikhil was  hell lot scared for that and used to cry facing the corner ..... Of course no spanking nothing.....In a way it was good , because it gave us the time to cool down a bit too from the bad temper .... But as I have mentioned before my younger one is "Raja" of his own mind , he loves this part and does it like we are playing hide and seek.... All eyes closed with hands and counting .....
                   Now that Nikhil has grown , he has grown out of  the fear of the corner standing but its this Stop & Think which is going on in the school which he is scared off...Whenever he doesn't do what he is supposed to do , the teacher tells him to Stop and Think what  he is doing and whether he is doing it right or wrong.....Maximum of 3 Stop and Think is allowed a week and if it exceeds more than the limit , the teacher will call the parent and send the daily report of that student everyday...Otherwise it is a weekly report of the student...So far Nikhil had not got any of the Stop & Think remark ( which I think Why  and How ???) . 
              But  just last week I got to see that he got one Stop & Think  in his weekly report for the every first time in the entire school year...No much of words or talk...Asked him and he knew he had done wrong.....But he asked me to promise not to tell his Father about this...I said ok and ripped off the paper...Ronak was standing next to me and seeing all this ....I dont know whether he understood our "Secret talk" or not , but as soon as I was done with ripping he took it from my hand and ran and threw it to the dustbin...And came and smiled at his brother and said "All Done".... Hahaha Truly a faithful partner in crime and thanks to his broken language , Ganesh will never know the truth .........

Potting

Although I am not a Gardening person , I don't know what has gone in to me which has motivated me to get 3  pots and start a small garden....Now that spring is here I thought I will try with the cheapest because it is my first attempt in gardening...So I went with readily available in kitchen ,  methi seeds and coriander seeds...My in-law said try sprouting them first so that they grow very fast ..And yes I  did it too ..Got sprouts in the methi and within 2 days the methi plant was out... Just waiting  to eat homemade methi leaf paratha or rice .  Tried sprouting the coriander seeds , but it was a failure ...So planted the seeds as it is ... Then got few cheapest flower seeds from Target and planted in the last pot . Everyday water , everything was going fine...And of course had warned the little one especially "DO NOT  TOUCH THEM".
                Everything was going fine , not that I was not keeping an eye on the little one whenever he would go out in the balcony alone..But one day I was soo lazy to even bother to see what he was doing and just kept seeing from the side to see he doesnt peek out to see people from the balcony...In and out in he went ...All hands clean and smile in his face..Didn't bother again....Later on he came to me with a big "Dhabba" and showing some mud in it...Just in the morning had seen small sprouts of coriander leaves coming out and was happy to see it because I had lost hope in that....And now here he is all smiling for his great deed and for my better  luck he picked the pot in which I had seen the sprouts of coriander.....

            Thought why did I plan to plant , if I did too why didnt I set up a hanging garden? Still remember my mom  always getting new  "Tulsi" every year just a week before the Tulsi pooja and  Chudhi pooja when we were small ..Reason my younger brother.... Everytime she is done with all the pooja and enters the house with all the pooja  items and she will turn back , she would see my brother coming behind her with the whole plant in hand with the roots....'Pooja's done Why the plant? ' 

             And that's why they say "No matter  what generation , what age we live in , what religion or caste , what region  all the kids mentality will remain the same --------> The Explorer ,  The Destructor , The Inventor " . All and All they will be  "Curious George".
 

Hat-trick

Yes!!! Finally Nikhil completed the hat-trick yesterday. Hat-trick of getting lost . Hat-trick of getting lost and getting found.. And most of the time it happens when he is going to shop for himself  which is either toys or candies.
             The very first time was as soon as we came to US and he was 3 years old almost the same age as my younger one. We had being to Wal-mart and were busy in shopping . Just turned my head to talk to Ganesh to ask about buying something and next second he was lost. We were scared to death coz it was totally new environment , totally new place to him. Plus he didn't know much of English at that age other than telling his name. So we planned that one will keep an eye on the entry and exit and the other person will search the entire store!!!!

     While we were busy in searching , there came an announcement that a kid with "Nickle" name is near the customer service. We rushed to the customer service and there he was standing all scared and shivering and almost tears in his eyes about to burst any time. Thanked  God at least he did have the common sense to tell the employee in broken English that he is lost and tell his name. Had rushed to the temple the same week with "Khanike" or the "Protection money"  .

               Second time was the best . I had just delivered  and was at home . My mother-in-law had come for the delivery and Ganesh had taken her and Nikhil  to the tour of Chicago downtown. Now near the "Millennium Park " there is a water fountain where hundreds of kids play in the water fountain and the puddle. As per details from Ganesh , he just turned his head to pass the bag or something to his mom and the next moment he wasn't there. Now this was the extreme case because first of all 100's of  shirtless kids all looking familiar , open area where there is no entry or exit door to guard,  road just across with busy traffic  , small restuartents close by. Where to search for him? So Ganesh kept searching here and there and my in-law waiting at the same place just in case the kid comes back looking for them. Finally a person came to Ganesh asking him whether he was searching for a child and Ganesh said yes. The man said that a kid came to the restuarent down saying that he was lost and the employee told the kid to sit there and draw something on a piece of paper. Ganesh rushed to the spot to see the same look of fear in his face he had for the first time he lost. Amazing part was the place he was playing and where he was found was like 50 to 100 feet a apart.... Now this was at the age of 4 and half . Again  went  the "Khanike" to the God.

                 Yesterday it was in Target supermarket. After all these lost and found issues we had come to a deal that one kid remains with one person and when parting ways for shopping we need to inform each other which kid goes with whom. So I  was with Ronak and Ganesh with Nikhil. We were just wandering around and came to Toy section , that's when Ganesh told me that he needs to see something in electronics section and went away. I did see Nikhil going behind him and was silent. Ronak kept running and running and we reached to the entrance that's when I saw Nikhil coming with 2 Target employees. Again same face but a little better compared to previous 2 incidents. They told me he was lost and looking for his parents. Ahh for the every first time neither me nor Ganesh knew he was lost and we weren't searching too. .... And this time there wasn't any "Khanike" to God too!!!

             So 3 rows of lost and found .Seriously if they have invented the GPS , they should  invent something which can be just put  in these kids bodies without their knowledge and let us free from searching them and lead us to the right addresses. It will save soo much tension, so much time.......